Hello Sunshine!

August 16, 2020

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Sunshine?  Yes, and lots and lots of it.  Here in Manteca, we’ve had weeks of 95-100+ degree weather.  Today it’s 114.  Yikes.  And the next ten days don’t look any better.  But some good news, I was talking with a neighbor last week and she said this is very unusual.  She’s lived here for years and has never seen it so hot and for so long.  So maybe next summer will be a bit better?  Anyway, I am blessed to have a home with air conditioning.  I’ve never had that, but it’s pretty standard here.  So I can be comfortable and get some chores done without passing out! Haha!

Sunshine is good for your soul.  I’ve always liked to sit a bit in the sun for at least 10-15 minutes.  Especially on a cool fall or cold winter day.  If the sun is out, soak it up.  It kind of restores you and lifts you up.  I’ve really needed that lately, but no way am I sitting outside in this kind of weather.

Depression? Yes, I have that.  Anxiety?  Yes, I have that, too.  Am I okay?  It depends on the day and/or the time.  I have to be honest with everyone.  You all pretty much know this, but I want to share what it’s been like moving to a new community with all these plans to meet new people, join classes, hang out at the clubhouse, etc.  I was on such a high, selling my house, excited about my new home.  Well, the day I moved into my new home was the day everything shut down.  The pandemic really messed me up.  I know so many others have had the illness, lives lost, lost jobs, etc., and it seems so shameful and so self-centered, but in my own little world it’s thrown me for a loop .  I’ve been here just about five months (wow), and have only met a handful of people and with the clubhouse closed, all activities and events have been cancelled.  So, long story short, Laura has not been doing too well.  Oh, I have good days.  Luckily, more good than bad, but there have been too many days I just can’t seem to function.  I’ve always loved my alone time, and generally prefer it, but too much time “alone” is not the best thing for me.  Sometimes I feel like a child that can’t take care of herself.  I said I was going to be honest, right?  This “condition” I have has been so hard to live with, and it’s been years.  It’s crazy because one day I’ll have energy and want to do things, finish organizing, create something, and then wake up the next day so down that I really don’t want to get out of bed.  Today’s a good day, except for the heat, of course.  I really want to get my kitchen finished up and get all of the miscellaneous decor and stuff I’m not going to use or keep out of the way.  I’m getting there, but I have a few piles in the garage again to box up and get rid of.  Trouble is, my garage gets almost as hot as it is outside.  So no working there until it cools down some.

Thanks for listening.

I love my new home!  I felt good here the day I moved in.  Okay, better when I finally had all my furniture and things, especially a bed!  Now that some rooms have been painted, new curtains, my decor how I like it, and…. my office is done, it really feels like a home.

Please don’t worry.  I am okay.  Just wanted to share; it helps me.  Maybe it will help someone else know they’re not alone. Sometime maybe I’ll tell you about my horrible memory (I’m constantly forgetting about things).  I’m 57.  I guess getting old(er) comes with some “senior moments”, aches and pains…arthritis, hip pain, knee pain and so on.  I was doing so well walking here in the morning and/or in the evening, but it’s been quite a while now.  Just too darn hot!

By the way, I found the gorgeous photo of kissing sunflowers above on Pinterest.  Did you know that when it is cloudy and rainy, sunflowers, that generally follow the light, turn to each other to share their energy? Amazing! Nature astounds me.

More to come very soon!

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One thought on “Hello Sunshine!

  1. Fran says:

    Hi Laura!
    Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and beautiful photos with us. Hope you are doing OK.
    If it’s any consolation, Fresno is just as hot as Manteca, with no relief in sight! Stay cool.
    Love,
    Fran

    Like

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